And so endeth this blog

I've thought hard about this, but this blog was mostly for George's daddy. Now he is no longer with us, I don't have the heart to carry it on. In the next couple of weeks I will print off its contents and add them to the items I have already put away for George.

Thanks to the RFA having individual email accounts, I managed to copy most of the blog to George's daddy as i wrote it, so he did get to see the final pages even though he didn't come home to us.

Take care all of you that have enjoyed watching George's progress since Christmas 2008.

Jayne x

So far so good

Well that's the first weekend truly on our own out of the way. In the 9 years that he's worked away, this is the first trip that George's daddy has ever done where I haven't counted down the days until he was due home on the calendar. Perhaps on some level, I knew that he wouldn't be coming home.

George is being so brave. He had a postcard from his school saying that he made his school a better place this week by trying hard and being brave. He's also had 3 postcards off his daddy. I have put 2 away to keep them safe, but handed him the one that came on Friday. I told him that maybe his daddy wrote it before he died. George's answer was "No mummy, he's sent it from heaven".

I just hope that wherever George's daddy is, he's as proud of our little boy as I am. I'm sure he is. We love you Paul xxx

A sad week

We're having a bad week. The police came on Monday to tell us that George's daddy had been found dead in his cabin on board his ship off the coast of the Falkland Islands.

I have told George the news, and he said "Mummy, daddy has broken my heart", then he cried for a little while, then he ate his tea.

I'm so proud of my brave little man, who has been to school today and keep hugging me. He has told me several times that he is sad that his daddy has died, but I just remind him that I love him most in the whole wide world, and that he and I still have each other.

My heart is broken too, but if anyone can help me through this it is my gorgeous little boy.

School

So then, George is a big school boy now and is very proud of himself. He has settled in well, and some mornings he is so eager to be in his classroom that he forgets to say goodbye to me.

His daddy asked if I cried the first morning. Well, truth to tell, I was so proud of him bouncing into the classroom and running to sit next to his friend B that I came out with a great big beaming smile on my face.

I'm not having much in the way of feedback from him, but luckily, I talk to some of the mums of his friends - ladies that I have come to know from George's nursery days. B told her mum when they had a French lesson, George told me that they had been put into groups, and so the sharing of information gives us all a better picture of what they are doing.

I'm just so pleased that he is enjoying this new experience.

More Questions

You know how sometimes the split seconds words leave your mouth, you sense that you will regret what you have said? Well I did just that on Friday. Going up the slip road to the motorway traffic was very slow. Before I could think I'd already said it "oh the traffic is slow because there is a funeral procession".

G : What's a funeral procession mum?
M : It's when they take a person's dead body to that garden thing that you get when you're dead (we've explored the local cemetary).
G: (Sitting bolt upright) Are we going to go past it. Am I going to see a real dead body in a box
M : Yes, We're going to go past it because it's going a different way to us
G : Wow, mum, is there a real dead body in that box
M : Yes

Then the was a pause of about 30 seconds while he had a think

G : Mum, if your body goes in the ground in a box, how do you get to heaven?

Me - insert complex explanation about soul leaving your body etc. I really do need to learn think. Chances are that he would have seen it anyway. A hearse is quite hard to miss.

School

My baby started school today. He was so excited to be going that I was a bit worried. There was no need. He took off his jacket straight away, only said goodbye to me because his teacher reminded him to, and raced away to sit next to his best friend. Even though I was talking to his teacher Miss O for a few minutes, I wasn't given another glance. He seems quite happy to be going again tomorrow. He ate nearly all of his lunch - he did remind me this morning that he needed his lunch, and was hungry when I collected him. Oh my goodness me, I have a schoolboy!

August

August was a bit traumatic all round. My friend who was supposed to look after George came down with meningitis, so several people stepped in at very short notice to look after him. I worried about George, and I worried about my friend.

George however, took it all in his stride, and I think that the change from nursery to several different people did him good. He is all ready to start his new school routine tomorrow. He went to bed so excited that I'm surprised that he is asleep.

I hope that he has a good day tomorrow, and enjoys his first day of being a grown up schoolboy.